{Ep121} How To Find Your True Purpose Guest: Kelly Needham

In this week's episode, Kevin is joined by blogger, speaker, podcaster, and author Kelly Needham to discuss her latest book," Purposefooled." Discovering our purpose is arguably the most important quest of a person's life, but how do we find it? In this episode, you will be challenged to want more than just a desire to do something great for God. If you've ever wondered how to discover your purpose, Kelly gives you the keys to do exactly that. 

Get the book!
https://www.amazon.com/Purposefooled-Chasing-Finding-Reaching-Greatness/dp/1400241618

Learn more about Kelly!
https://www.jimmyandkelly.com/

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Transcript

Kevin Wilson (00:01.601)
Welcome back to the Thinking Out Loud podcast. My name is Kevin Wilson and I am excited to be back with you this week for another episode of the show. And so I am really excited this week for the guests that we have. And I just want to say, if you haven't listened to the last episode, I would encourage you guys to do so. We covered the...

commercial that happened on the Super Bowl, He Gets Us, and really their misrepresentation of who God is. And I think it's really, really important as you have people going through and asking you questions and these topics are coming up for you to understand from a biblical perspective what we, what

how we should respond to things like that. And so I really want you to go and listen to that as well. And of course, don't forget, rate and review us everywhere you hear this podcast. But excited for our discussion today. I think this discussion today is going to grow you. I think you are going to be expanded in your knowledge of something that you've probably heard of all your life.

But may have been a little bit misguided in your understanding of this and we're going to talk about purpose today and I know that that's kind of a buzzword in evangelical circles And you know, everybody's trying to find their purpose and I think you know, we need to do that from a

biblical perspective and that's what we're here to do today. My guest today is Kelly Needham. She is a blogger, she's a speaker, podcaster, and she's author of two books. One is Friendish, Reclaiming Real Friendship in a Culture of Confusion. And then her newest book is Purposeful. Why Chasing Your Dreams, Finding Your Calling, and Reaching for Greatness Will Never Be Enough. She and her husband, Jimmy live in Dallas.

Kevin Wilson (02:07.681)
uh, with their children and, uh, you may be familiar with her husband. Uh, he's a CCM song singer, songwriter, Jimmy Needham, one of my favorite artists. Uh, but Kelly is joining us today. Kelly, welcome to the thinking out loud podcast.

Kevin Wilson (02:29.729)
Yeah, we're glad to have you. So, Kelly, let's get right in. So tell me a little bit about how did this book even come about? What what was God doing in your heart that caused you to birth a book like this?

Kevin Wilson (02:54.401)
Oh wow.

Kevin Wilson (03:12.129)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (03:37.567)
Mmm.

Kevin Wilson (03:54.113)
Mm.

Kevin Wilson (04:13.217)
You

Kevin Wilson (04:24.897)
Mm. Mm.

Kevin Wilson (04:55.041)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (05:17.377)
Yeah, wow. So tell me, I guess, how did that and I wasn't I didn't expect to ask this question, but I have been around a lot of people who struggle, especially women who are wives of husbands who are either pastors or like like your husband, a musician, well known, all the things like that. And they struggle with, you know, well, it's because they're always Jimmy's wife.

Right? You know, it's always, you know, and, and they do have things to say, or they may not even know that they have things to say, but they just know that, Hey, I feel like God is doing all this through this, you know, my husband or my wife, but I feel like maybe God is not doing stuff through me. And because it doesn't seem as visible as their spouse.

What are some of the steps, like the steps that you took to understand that? Like what was, like how did you find that out? Because I'm telling you right now, there are people who struggle with that. And I think some of them are held back because they go, well, maybe that's just my wife's thing or my husband's thing. And I should just support them, which you should, but that's usually not all.

Kevin Wilson (07:01.663)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (07:24.287)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (07:30.815)
Mm -hmm. Mm.

Kevin Wilson (07:48.737)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (08:02.017)
Mmm.

Kevin Wilson (08:38.977)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (09:05.921)
Hmm. Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (09:27.361)
Hmm.

Mm.

Kevin Wilson (09:35.857)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (09:53.697)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (10:18.111)
Hmm.

Mmm.

Kevin Wilson (10:38.111)
Mm -hmm. Mm.

Kevin Wilson (10:48.449)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (10:57.729)
Yeah.

Kevin Wilson (11:04.895)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (11:13.503)
Mm.

Yeah. Yeah.

Kevin Wilson (11:30.241)
Yeah, that's so, so, so good. So good. So how has the church, because I think our audience, you know, we talk about purpose, right? And it's a positive thing most of the time when we we talk about that. And it is positive. But how has the church talked about it traditionally, our evangelical circles? How have we talked about it? And then how has that been misguided?

in general, because I think this is the crux of your book. So how have we talked about it? What are some of the things that people would hear in church or the Christianese that people would hear? And it's a little bit misguided.

Kevin Wilson (12:29.441)
Hmm. Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (12:55.009)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (13:18.497)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (13:27.425)
Mm. Mm.

Kevin Wilson (14:14.111)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (14:37.569)
Mmm.

Kevin Wilson (15:12.417)
Mmm.

Kevin Wilson (15:16.617)
Right. Right. Right.

Kevin Wilson (15:25.665)
Hahaha!

Kevin Wilson (15:34.433)
Yes.

Kevin Wilson (16:07.073)
Mmm.

Kevin Wilson (16:16.031)
Mmm, yeah, yeah.

Kevin Wilson (16:30.913)
Hmm. Man, that's so good. Yeah, I think about that when, you know, we talk to youth groups or we talk to our kids. And I think sometimes we put a heavy burden on our youth and our kids by saying, hey, you need to figure out and find out what you've been called to when really if they read the word, they...

I mean, it's very clear what they've been called to and they spend the rest of their lives or sometimes they, you know, maybe spend the next few years chasing after a calling like, okay, well, but I'm not on stage yet or I'm not, you know, leading this whole group of women or I'm not like, and they feel insignificant, you know, and I can see just by listening and reading some of what you've written.

You know, I see as a parent, you know, my own mistakes, right? Because when you grow up in that culture, you, you know, that's what you do. Like that's what you know, right? And I'm a person who came from a very, I came from a very strict church. So like, you know, it was like, you know, no makeup, no jewelry, no pants, no, you know, and like you must speak in tongues to be saved, like all the bad theology, right? Like all the things.

And so for me, you know, it was people speaking into my life that helped me to understand, you know, God the right way. But in that they were speaking things of purpose to me. But I think because because when I when I got out of that church, got into a newer, different church that was teaching right theology.

But that church was like purpose, purpose, purpose. Like, what's your purpose? You know? And so my talents and abilities became my purpose. Oh, he can lead worship. That's his purpose. Oh, he can preach. That's his purpose. As opposed to, and Kelly, to be honest with you, I am, oh man, I'm going through a lot in my life right now with God. Like God is doing like somersaults in my heart, to be honest with you. Like.

Kevin Wilson (18:50.881)
And I'm like, I'm having to rethink everything that I've ever done, not in a bad way, but in a biblical purpose way, a biblically purposed way. And so that's why I think this is so important. And I think a lot of people are caught up in chasing purpose and not chasing Christ. And I think...

That's why we see some of the falls that we do from people. We see like, oh, this pastor fell or this musician fell from, and we're like, what happened? And it's because they've chased their talent and the purpose that we've put on them as opposed to really chasing their actual purpose.

Kevin Wilson (20:00.001)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (20:21.633)
Mm.

Kevin Wilson (20:30.305)
Mm.

Kevin Wilson (20:38.303)
Mmm.

Kevin Wilson (21:15.999)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (21:49.791)
Mm.

Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (22:18.463)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (22:37.993)
Yeah.

Kevin Wilson (23:07.295)
Hmm.

Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (23:13.545)
Mm.

Kevin Wilson (23:57.121)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (24:09.183)
Mmm.

Kevin Wilson (24:25.441)
Yeah. Yeah. Man, that's so good, Kelly. I just, so much is going through my mind as you're talking and just thinking about, you know, busyness and how, you know, you know, cause it's the American way. Like that's just, it's like the busier you are, the more, you know, that's, that means you're six, you know, that you're, you're going after it. You're hungry. You're, you know, you're going out and it's like, and I've, I work in the corporate world and human resources. And so it's.

It's a lot of that, right? It's, it's, you know, can you get to the next position? Can you get, you know, and it's just, it's, it's unhealthy. It is so unhealthy when we look at, when we take a step back and go, what am, what, what train am I? Like, where am I going? Like what ultimately, what is the end? Like, where am I like, where am I getting off? Like as I'm going, this freight train that's going super fast.

And like you say, like you said, and I love what you said is like, you know, you come, you know, if you come home and you're not podcasting or you're not writing or whatever, you're talking to a five year old that just as important to God as the words that you're writing in this book. Right. You know, and yeah, if you knew how much some of this stuff was applied to my life right now, like I'm literally like fighting back tears, like because.

God has been dealing with me about things. I had talked to my wife and I said, you know, cause I come home and I was like, Oh, podcasting and, and all these other things that I'm doing. And I'm like, I've got to, I've got to do this. I got to do that. You know? And it's like, I've got my laptop when, you know, at, when we're eating dinner and like, it's just like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Are you that important? Like is that, is your stuff like, and it just,

And Kelly, I'm telling you, I just didn't see it. I didn't see it. It took the Lord to open my eyes to see it. And so I'm, I'm just grateful. Like, you know, for people like you who are saying, you know what, God, I'm open and you know, here and, and, and you're putting, you're putting pieces of God's wisdom on paper, right? That truly is. It's like, you know, God is using you just like he would have used.

Kevin Wilson (26:49.857)
And I'm not putting anybody on this level. So I want to be careful of that. But God's using you just like he used the writers of the Bible, right? He's taking life circumstances, things that he's done in you. And he's saying, hey, write this, because people need to hear this. And so so grateful for that, really am. Yeah.

Yeah.

Kevin Wilson (27:21.855)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (27:41.089)
Mm. Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (27:46.913)
Mm. Mm.

Kevin Wilson (28:28.417)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (28:37.247)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (28:46.017)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (28:58.721)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (29:14.273)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (29:25.023)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (29:34.623)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (29:45.705)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Kelly, why do we want the extraordinary? Like, what... where does that come from?

Kevin Wilson (30:03.967)
Mm. Mm.

Kevin Wilson (30:17.921)
He he.

Kevin Wilson (30:51.049)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (30:59.265)
Mm. Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (31:06.943)
Mm -hmm, you're right.

Kevin Wilson (31:15.873)
Mm.

Kevin Wilson (31:54.207)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (32:13.121)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (32:31.967)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (32:36.831)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (32:53.665)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (33:03.905)
Mm, mm, mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (33:18.273)
Yeah, yeah. If I'm a young adult or say I am a younger, like a youth, a person that's in youth, or I'm a young adult and I realize that I feel like there may be a calling there, right? So maybe I get up and speak and when I speak, it really seems to resonate with people. And maybe I have people around me saying like, man, you should be a, you know, you should be a pastor or you should be a.

you know, a speaker or whatever, right? And maybe I also have that passion too, like with it, like it's like, wow, I just really love digging into the word of God and teaching people.

How do I not go down the path of that's my identity or that's my purpose or that's my, like, how does that, what does that look like on a random Tuesday morning? Like, you know,

Kevin Wilson (34:28.065)
Hehehehe.

Kevin Wilson (34:34.313)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (34:58.689)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (35:06.207)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (35:38.273)
Hmm. Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (36:06.273)
Mmm.

Kevin Wilson (36:50.175)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (37:24.735)
Mm.

Kevin Wilson (37:35.231)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (38:16.671)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (38:28.737)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (39:01.153)
Mm. Mm.

Kevin Wilson (39:45.247)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (39:54.849)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (39:58.977)
Hmm. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. That's so true. Would you say that if somebody is, because you talked about spending time with God, like that's like the roadmap really to that purpose. But if someone is getting into the rut, because I know when I was pastoring, that was one of the things that, you know, you can get into a rut easily where you spend time with God.

for the next sermon. You spend time with God for worship service on Sunday because you know, you have to lead it. And it's like, oh, well, I got to get in the presence of God because I got to be quote on, right? You know, and it's, you know, we're obviously supposed to live, whatever comes out on a Sunday morning or Wednesday night or whenever we have church should be an overflow of our personal relationship with God, not.

because we spent time because of our position. Would you say that a person when they are maybe only spending time with God to prepare is a telltale sign that maybe their purpose is in the wrong place? How they're viewing their purpose is just misguided at this point and it's become your position as opposed to your...

you know, for it to be God.

Kevin Wilson (41:39.905)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (41:46.399)
Yeah.

Kevin Wilson (41:54.081)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (42:15.521)
Mm.

Kevin Wilson (42:49.737)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (43:19.617)
Mmm. Mmm.

Kevin Wilson (43:34.175)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (43:47.519)
Mm -hmm, mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Kevin Wilson (44:00.545)
There's a section of your book where you talk about greatness is received, not achieved. Talk to us just a little bit about that.

Kevin Wilson (44:32.353)
Mm. Mm.

Kevin Wilson (44:43.425)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (45:00.769)
Mm.

Kevin Wilson (46:16.201)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (46:37.025)
Mm. Mm.

Kevin Wilson (46:43.925)
Right?

Kevin Wilson (46:55.615)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (47:09.761)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (47:30.529)
Mmm.

Kevin Wilson (47:41.057)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's so, so, so good. In our last little bit, I want to ask, you talk about great work hides us. Can you unpack that a little bit? Just a little bit.

Kevin Wilson (48:06.687)
Mmm.

Kevin Wilson (48:20.319)
Mm.

Kevin Wilson (49:16.257)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (49:22.465)
Hmm.

Mm.

Kevin Wilson (49:36.289)
Yeah.

Kevin Wilson (49:40.225)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (50:01.217)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (50:10.719)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (50:30.913)
Yeah, yeah, so good. Very last thing. Don't rejoice. You see, don't rejoice in being used. Rejoice in being known. Can you just talk to us a little bit about that in our last few minutes?

Kevin Wilson (50:55.935)
Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (51:05.989)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Kevin Wilson (51:15.379)
Mm.

Kevin Wilson (51:49.217)
Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (52:33.983)
Hmm. Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (52:39.819)
Yeah, yeah.

Kevin Wilson (52:51.137)
Hmm. Hmm.

Kevin Wilson (53:13.441)
Yeah, yeah. Oh my goodness. So good. So good. And I know that if you're listening to this, you're probably like, Kelly, keep talking. But she does. She keeps talking in her book. So if you want to hear more on this subject, please, I would encourage you to go get her book. It's called Purpose Fooled.

Uh, it's why chasing your dreams, finding your calling, reaching for greatness will never be enough. And it's by Kelly Needham and you can get it, uh, wherever you get your books. And, uh, you can also visit jimmyandkelly .com. So it's jimmyandkelly .com, both traditional spellings there. And if you go there, uh, you will see just a treasure trove of things. You know, Kelly also has a part on her website that.

She's got, and I took a ton of screenshots of it. She's got her book recommendations. And so definitely going to, you know, you can look into that stuff. Look at Jimmy Needham, her husband, his music, some things that he's written as well. Also make sure that you check out her blog, all the things. There's so much there, a treasure trove of things.

That you can look into there. And, uh, I'm just so grateful, Kelly, for you being on today. And, uh, I really appreciate, uh, what God is doing through you. Um, and just the lives that are going to be changed because of your obedience. And I know it's not easy. Believe me, believe me. I know it's not easy. Um, trusting God is, you know, a lot of times when people see what's happening in public.

It's a result of work that people have done in private. And so, uh, and I know that you, I know that you don't, you know, you, you wouldn't want to take this on as a personal accomplishment, but you know, they, it's all because of the grace of God. And, um, I just, we're grateful. So, uh, thanks for being on today. And, uh, those of you that are listening, we will see you next time.